i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
what day is it and did you see me today?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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