I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
