my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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