You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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