drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
