I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
