I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize