whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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