My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
