no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
