Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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