apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
pray to the hookup gods
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
