NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
