is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
