Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
