I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
