CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
