My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize