its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize