plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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