Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
operation have a gay friend backfired
Life is so much better after having sex.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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