And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
