using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
