I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
