I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
