You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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