omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The convent might be a nice break from real life
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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