and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
