Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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