My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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