who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
