I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Randomize
