Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
