shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
