he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize