I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize