last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize