i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I love you. Go after that dick
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
