She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
