Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
