Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Randomize
