all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize