Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
