I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I checked into jail on foursquare
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize