dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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