One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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