After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
