I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
