Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize