12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
