Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
