we're chasing vodka with high fives
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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