I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Just puked most of my soul out..
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
