That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
