i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
it was like eating out sand paper
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Who died my cat blue again?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
