my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize