She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
