Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
