Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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