He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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