Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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